Final fantasy 9 and IT
by PSX Master
Summary: Thanks to Kawaii Mimi-Chan for the help with planning out this fic. HEY LOOK! Here you go Lost! Chapter 3!
1. Default Chapter

  
  
Final Fantasy Nine and IT.  
  
Disclaimer: Well here it is yet again. Let me say I do not own FF9 or IT. Let me also say "duh". Of course I don't own them. Geez, writing this dumb thing for every fic gets really annoying after a while. Anyways, Square owns FF9 (duh again) and Stephen King owns IT.  
  
Author's note: READ THIS FIRST!!!!!!! This is a parody of the movie IT. Before reading let me explain the concept of the story. There's this evil demon who kills children. To do this he disguises himself as something they fear or a deceased relative. After this he makes himself look like a clown and tricks them into following him. Or he just reeeally scares the living crap out of them. I mean come on, a clown coming out a drain hole in the shower. You must need therapy after that. Anyways right before he kills them he gets these really weird looking fangs. Then they edit it or don't show it anymore (hey, I was watching it on T.V.) Well anyways you get the point now right. You might still want to see the movie or read the book first. By the way the evil demon clown thingy calls himself "Pennywise". Tremble in fear. I think the scary part is that the incredibly scary Tim Curry plays him in the movie. That's right....a transvestite clown....now that's scary.  
  
In a deserted back ally in Alexandria....  
  
Eiko: now where did that ribbon go? This is no place for a lady!  
  
As Eiko goes farther into the ally an odd clown comes out of the shadows....  
  
Pennywise: hello little girl. Would you...  
  
Eiko (who is now SERIOUSLY ticked): Little girl!? I'll have you know I'm a lady and if you call me that again I'll rip your stupid lookin' head off!  
  
Pennywise(who remains calm and cheerful trying to trick Eiko.) : Ohhhh..a lady sorry. Would you like a ballon? They float ( A/N:yeah he says this in the movie. Before he kills them he also says something like "Float like your head! HAHAHAHAH! And them some evil laughing and growling and stuff that your normal evil demon does).  
  
Eiko: So what? I can float too.  
  
Pennywise: Um...huh?  
  
Eiko: oh come on! Watch! Float (Eiko starts floating). See? Now go away. You creepy freak.  
  
Pennywise(who is now getting kinda ticked) : Freak!? Come on that hurts.... None of the other children were this mean.  
  
Eiko: DID YOU CALL ME A CHILD?!!!   
  
Pennywise: Um....no?  
  
Eiko: THAT'S IT! I"LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!  
  
Pennywise: Aw,,,,screw it. (Grows fangs) Come here you little brat!  
  
Eiko: Holy s....um HOLY!!!! (Eiko casts Holy in fright).  
  
Pennywise: Huh? (Just then the attack hits). AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It burns, it burns! Leave the poor demonic clown alone! OWWWWWWWWW! (in his confusion he steps on Eiko's precious ribbon)  
  
Eiko: WHY YOU.............! MADEEN!  
  
Pennywise: What's a Madeen? Man these fangs make it hard to talk...hey. Where did that brat go? (Just then Madeen appears).   
  
Pennywise: oh s***.....um.. don't hurt me? (Madeen unleashes with Terra Homing).  
  
Pennywise: AGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!! Ok, ok no more make it stop! You're even more evil then I am kid....oooops.  
  
Eiko: Get back here you piece of poop! I'll beat your head in for trying to hurt me!  
  
Pennywise: NO!!!!!!!! No more....I'm out of here!  
  
Eiko: Stupid freak! Hm...how dare he treats a lady like that.  
  
In another ally...  
  
Pennywise: Note to self...ignore kids who have horns on their heads. (spots Vivi)  
However...there looks like an easy target.  
HAHAHAHAHA  
  
Well I figure I'll write more later. I'll be putting up a couple of chapters for this one. This next chapter is for the hundreds of Vivi fans out there. See ya later.  



	2. look! a ch.2!

FF9 and IT  
I do not own either FF9 or IT. There I said it.  
  
Authors note (read if you want): WHOA! Boy am I sorry! After those first couple of reviews I was kinda disheartened. I was even going to take it off the site. But thanks to those last couple of reviews I got my inspiration back! So if for some insane reason you liked the last chapter I hope that you find this one good too! OHHHHHHH!!!! I make no promises of actual quotes.  
  
(In a dark alley in Alexandria...)  
  
Pennywise: Hm....that kid in the dorky hat looks like a good...  
  
Vivi: Gee...I d-don't know where this is....  
  
Pennywise: Hello kid? Wanna a balloon? They....what're you looking at?  
  
Vivi: umm.....c-clowns scare me....  
  
Pennywise: Oh come on? Is ol' Pennywise really that scary?  
  
Vivi: yes.  
  
(Pennywise smacks his head)  
  
Pennywise: Ok kid look. I'm a clown. You're a kid. Kids love clowns.  
  
Vivi: I don't.  
  
Pennywise: GOD******!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Vivi stumbles back in horror)  
  
Pennywise: I mean...um...wanna see a circus? It's just down in the sewer.  
  
Vivi: I don't think there are any circuses in the sewer Mr. Scary Clown sir.  
  
Pennywise: Whaddya mean? Of course there is! Pay no attention to me and just look down the sewer.   
  
Vivi: it smells funny down there...  
  
(Pennywise grows fangs)  
  
Vivi: Are you sure (turn around) a-a-a-a-a-a-a-  
  
Pennywise: um......they're fake?  
  
Vivi: a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-  
  
Pennywise: Come here brat! I'll eat ya up!  
  
(Vivi takes the Mace of Zeus and swings up and hits.....)  
  
Pennywise: OMPH!....oh.....why there? (drops to his knees)  
  
Vivi: You're a scary evil clown! (Starts to beat Pennywise with the Mace continuously)  
  
Pennywise: STOP! I'm an evil demon that devours small children! Do you know how embarrassing this is?  
  
Vivi: FLARE!!!!!  
  
Pennywise: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! (Stands up with hair on fire)  
Ok that's it! I had one brat hit me with a Mapheen....or....Makeen....machine......machina(AU: PLAY FFX TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes I know it's Madeen). And....oh crap! MY HAIR!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!  
  
Vivi: (adjust his hat) You talk funny.   
  
Pennywise: I'm leaving! This is too much of a disgrace (runs screaming down the alley)  
  
(Vivi pulls out a book) Vivi: Ok that's the seventh clown I beat this week....first one with fangs that's tried to eat me.  
  
(In another alley) Pennywise: Ok....kids nowadays have too much freedom with their evil magics and all. Bet that....what the hell? A monkey tail huh....maybe he tastes better...  
  
  
  
Author: Wow....ok. This time I'll try to write sooner. I guess it depends on the response. Thanks to all those that did review...yes.....everyone...and especially the last few cause it's thanks to you that I wrote this! 


	3. Zidane's Oddity

FF9 and IT  
  
Chapter 3: Zidane's Oddity  
  
Disclaimer: Same as last time. I don't own Final Fantasy or the book or movie of IT.  
  
Author's note: Please take the time to read! Thanks for all the support on chapter 2. It was good to get so much support especially after chapter one flopped. ALSO………I have written the first three chapters of an FFX MST. Please check that out too if you want! Thanks!  
  
Somewhat important notice: The creature IT (from my understanding…) can create realistic visions to occur to fool people. In the first part of the movie he makes the heroes see books bleed and balloons full of blood come out the sink (he's got some issues with blood…mostly because he's a demon) or see people that turn out to be him and in the second half he makes the heroes see their food come to life and have eyes and baby chickens in the center. IT'S FREAKING WEIRD! The reason for the notice is some jokes will be based off that. Enjoy!  
  
(In a dark alley in Alexandria…)  
  
(Still limping…) Pennywise: Owww….I need an ice pack! Stupid kids! *looks at Zidane again * I'm not sure what the hell that is…even if it's not a kid he at least looks tasty.  
  
Zidane: (suddenly looking around) Zidane senses tingling! Danger…but where…  
  
Garnet: Would you stop doing that! You keep saying it every five minutes!  
  
Zidane: Yeah well…one time there actually will be danger! Then who'll be laughing! Now then…I'm off! FLY AWAY! *starts running *  
  
Pennywise: That was almost sad…  
  
(In a well lit house in Alexandria…)  
  
(Zidane bursts in)  
  
Zidane: It's good to be home! Well…my new home written for the convenience of fanfic writers! Ohhh….I'm hungry! It's time to eat!  
  
(In unlit sewers under Zidane's house…)  
  
Pennywise: Ok…freaky drug trip hallucinations start…..NOW! *sniffs cocaine * WOAH!!! I'm seeing even MORE monkey tailed freaks! But now to mess with the real one's mind!  
  
(back in house…)  
  
Zidane Mmmmm….beef…it's what's for…uhh….me to eat. Cause…you gotta eat! (Zidane starts dancing spastically as the Checkers fast-food restaurant music starts playing) Gotta eat….ain't no use…  
  
(food starts moving)  
  
Zidane: (still singing and dancing) Yeaaaaaaahhhh…hey cool! My food moves too!  
  
(food grows eyes and claws)  
  
Zidane: (poke) WEIRD! It's never done that before! Oh cool! (picks it up) How the hell did this happen! (takes a bite out of it) Still tastes the same…oh well! (Eats the rest) Well…that was cool! Wonder if any of my other food will move…  
  
Pennywise: (talking to Zidane through the sink) Come down here! There's LOTS of moving food!  
  
Zidane: Oh man…the voices are getting louder…  
  
Pennywise: I'm not the voices in your head! I'm uh….a woman trapped in the sewer.  
  
Zidane: You sound more like a chain smoking demon to me.  
  
Pennywise: OH FOR GOD'S SAKE! GET YOUR @$$ DOWN HERE NOW!  
  
Zidane: Well…if you're a woman ok…will you go out with me if I come down there?  
  
Pennywise: JUST MOVE!  
  
Zidane: Ok! *runs out side and into an alley. Pulls sewer cover off and jumps down * Ok babe! Where are you? *looks down tunnel and sees a scantily clad woman * Oh joy! *starts to run towards her * FINALLY! I'll show everyone I'm not a loser who can't get a girl!  
  
*woman is all of a sudden wearing a yellow clown suit *]  
  
Zidane: Oh man! Why'd you put that on?  
  
*grows red hair and red puffs on the suit *  
  
Zidane: Ok now you're freaking me out….  
  
*turns completely into Pennywise *  
  
Zidane: OH MY GOD!!!! A TRANSVESTITE CLOWN!  
  
Pennwyise: Didn't you read the review from chapter one? By Frank-N-Furter? I AM NOT A TRANSVESTITE CLOWN!  
  
Zidane: MY EYES!!! WHY!!!!!!!!! TRANS! GRAND LETHAL! *energy shoots out *  
  
Pennywise: AHHHH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU!!!! *beams hit * OH MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!!!! *starts to run away *  
  
Zidane: *follows * YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY THAT EASY! GRAND LETHAL!  
  
*Pennywise runs screaming down the sewers *  
  
Zidane: I showed him-slash-her! * exits the sewers and goes back home. Takes out large amount of food * Ok! Star moving! Come on….maybe if I dance again! *starts dancing and singing again *  
  
(back in another dark alley) Pennywise: This just isn't my day…WILL I EVER EAT AGAIN! * spots Quina in the streets * Either the cocaine is till working or I just saw a feast walk by…I better catch this one…this is getting embarrassing.  
  
  
  
Well….thanks for the support of chapter two! Funny thing was that chapter one took like…forever to get five reviews but chapter two seemed to be a hit! Stick around for part four! And don't forget to read "FFX: A MST" by PSX Master (me). See ya around! 


End file.
